Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Owning a Dog Helped Me Overcome Nightmares (No Thanks to God)

I currently am owned by two dogs, but this was written when I was only owned by one dog.  I've been plagued with nightmares all of my life, which God did nothing to help (come to think of it -- God has been  the cause of a lot of my nightmares.) However, my dog Pony has helped me deal with my nightmares.  Yet more proof that dogs are better than gods.

Please read my article about how my dog helped me overcome nightmares at Yahoo.  Thanks!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

More Great Dog and Dog God Images for You

Facebook is a treasure trove of goofy dog images.  Here are some I've discovered since the last time I posted on this blog.  Enjoy.

 I wonder how long it took to set this photo up.

 Jihad for Milkbone.

 But they WERE there to see the dog!

 They're also waiting for the pizza guy.
 Well, they can't all be funny, except I think the nun's face is pretty funny. Now back to the humor.


Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Saturday, February 16, 2013

More Than What God Will Ever Do For You

Best guardian angel you can have.  Dogs are often amazingly tolerant of children's antics such as tail-pulling.  Still, to be on the safe side, never leave a dog alone with a child younger than 5.  It's for the dog's protection as much as the kid's.

This image was circulating Facebook a few weeks ago.  I don't know the background to the photo, but what an amazing picture.

Friday, January 4, 2013

What Hath God Wrought?

Somehow, there's a popular belief that God/dess is omnipotent (all powerful, for those of you who don't read). I'd love to know who God/dess' agent is to put that one around. Anyway, what's the proof that God/dess is not all powerful?


God would make a lousy talk show host. "Why bother asking you any questions? I know all the answers. Why am I laughing? I'm remembering the first time you farted." What attention-starving celebrity would put up with that? Skills needed for creating the Universe mean squat comparred to chatting up Madonna.

My dog Pony would make a better talk show host. It would go something like this:

Celeb: I love you, Pony! I'd jump on the couch, but I can't find one.
Pony: I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Well, Pony is allowed on the furniture in the house, but I think you get my point. SO it's up to you to polish up your talk show host skills, 'cause God ain't gonna do it for ya!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Poem: FootFoot Has Been Touched by God

This was a poem I wrote about 20 years ago about one of my guinea pigs, who in her later life suffered from seizures and hind-end paralysis.  It was first thought that she had epilepsy (after her necropsy, the cause was changed to cirrhosis).  Anyway, even though this isn't about a dog, I think it fits in with this blog.

The photo from the early 1990s shows, from left to right, Gweeker (silver agouti and white), Cocaine (black with white stripe up the nose), Peanut (brown, tan and white) and FootFoot (black.)  I consider my dogs to be great pig guinea pigs, but I do miss living with actual guinea pigs.

And, yes, my guinea pigs were better than God.

FootFoot Has Been Touched By God

You see, FootFoot the guinea pig has epilepsy
In ancient times she'd have a career in prophecy
For then those with fits
had been as seen as having been touched by God a bit

This thunderstorm of the brain
the seizures pouring down like rain
proves nothing can be the same
after the touch of God

The ancients knew that God can drive you crazy
Making a
hurricane in your brain
And so Foot Foot lies on her back, thrashing
telling God to go away

and leave her alone
to nibble hay

Friday, December 28, 2012

Dogs Better for Women than God

Women get the short end of the stick in orgainzed religions such as Judaism, Christianity and Islam.  According to all three religions, it was one woman -- Eve -- that caused the "fall" of her entire species and sentenced them to an eternity in hell by a perfectly loving God.  Because of Eve, it has been acceptable for women to suffer.

Because of the Fall (which never has been proven to happen) women cannot even rise to the highest levels of powers within the very insititution that hates them -- religion. 

Now, let's look to how dogs treat women.  Dogs are companions, guardians, co-workers, confidants and literal life savers.  For example, dogs have been successfully trained to detect ovarian cancer in the urine of affected women.  The dogs are able to tell if a woman has cancer long before and conventional medical tests can or before any symptoms set in.

Accoding to the Fall, it was Satan in the form of a serpent that convinced Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.  In real life, women do not have to fear serpents when they are accompanyed by a faithful dog.  One such dog is a black Lab named Dante that saved his owner from a venomous snake.  Dante (pictured) nearly died from snake bites. There's proof that this story happened -- unlike the Fall.

And dogs do this all without telling women that they will go to hell for eating fruit.  Meanwhile, God does nothing (because God never existed.)